I started dating "A" right after he graduated med school and as he started his residency. True Believer Mos base their actions on a set of priorities that make no sense to Nomos. Almost everything is complicated.
I was definitely taking the "Tough love" approach because I've read countless times on this and other boards, how Mormons claimed that they were cool with their SO not being Mormon, and that they weren't, themselves, orthodox. Why Mormons are not sexist. That is a hard truth. She'll be hoping that you're going to convert and if neither is happy with the other being as they are, you'll find yourself divorced shortly down the road. If you try to deconvert her I suggest indirectly at first.
I have been reading this blog for a while now but this is the first time I have felt I needed to add my two cents in. Girls aren't socially required to be missionaries, unlike men. Anecdotes vs a much larger sample size. In our church, women are treated with more respect, and are considered to have a literal free ticket to heaven, simply bu because their female. It has been very difficult to reconcile our two expectations, hopes and dreams. Mormonism is a lot more controlling and has a lot more downsides.
I am glad that I came across your blog. What you are potentially choosing is certainly not the easiest path. It's a great idea to know where you stand so that you'll be prepared when this comes up in conversation. She ends on a positive note: You are a flawed and unique human being, with excellent training and an admirable sense of purpose. If she is open to questioning her faith, perhaps she can chase you down. I feel to say, if you hear this, Amy, in time, it will all come round right. All people see is the money and that's it. Some great ideas include going on a hike or a walk, having a picnic outside or going to museum. Don't put them through that either. I married someone that wasn't of my faith and it worked great.