But what these budding engineers didn't share was what happened when things went wrong. Luckily technology has now advanced to the point where men can finally open up about their virginal romps in total anonymity, thanks to one disturbing Reddit thread. Needless to say, said coconut soon became a breeding ground for flies with disastrous consequences.
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Anyway, around 8 years back I lived in Northern Mozambique, a coastal southern African country with quite a warm climate. My mother at the time was going through a 'health nut' phase and only buying foods she deemed healthy enough. One of these was coconuts. She would buy several coconuts a week to use in food from the local market. One day I hear that my mother is going to be out for pretty much the entire afternoon. Horny me decides that it would be a fantastic idea to fuck a coconut. Honestly to this day I can't fathom why I thought that would be a good idea but my train of thought back then was clearly somewhat clogged. I decide it requires some lube and grab the nearest slippery thing some butter before shoving it into the coconut followed shortly by my meat.
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Skip navigation! Story from Wellness. Thanks to the relative anonymity of Reddit, people often share stories there that they might otherwise never tell a soul — like the person presumably a man, but we can't know for sure who opened up this weekend about repeatedly masturbating into a coconut. The user goes by coconutthrowaway69 , which they wrote in their post was a fake account they made explicitly to tell this story, and posted to Reddit's TIFU Today I Fucked Up page. Their TIFU actually happened 8 years ago, as BuzzFeed reports , but seems to have been plaguing their mind ever since. The story starts, "Horny me decides that it would be a fantastic idea to fuck a coconut," and only gets more interesting from there. See, the poster's mom had apparently been recently obsessed with tropical fruits and when they learned that she would be out of the house for a whole day, they decided it was the perfect opportunity to drill a hole into on of her coconuts and see if it was actually as fantastic of a masturbation aid as they thought — it was. They enjoyed it so much, in fact, that they continued to have sex with the coconut. That's all good and jolly.
His story begins in Mozambique, where one day he decided to fuck a coconut as a way of diversifying his masturbation routine. This only gets worse from here. He writes:. I end up grabbing the coconut drill and through 20ish minutes of concerted effort end up creating a hole large enough for me to stick my porker into. I decide it requires some lube and grab the nearest slippery thing some butter before shoving it into the coconut followed shortly by my meat.